Special days of the year

Jokes about animals

The farmer, the rooster and the chicken coop 
One farmer has several dozen chickens in the coop & one rooster that serves them faithfully. One day the farmer decided that the rooster is old and it is time to purchase a young rooster to be helpful. The farmer went to the market and bought a young colorful, handsome cock with an impressive crest, and brought it home to the henhouse. The next morning, the young rooster looks around and turns to the adult rooster saying arrogantly: "Listen, old cock, I see around thirty - forty chickens in total and I have no problem to server even double that number, then sit down, your time passed". "Rather than fight, Let's split fifty-fifty and everything will come back safely," said the adult rooster. "No way, there's no one like me, your job is finished" the young rooster replied even more arrogantly. "If you want it that way, all or nothing, so let's race around the henhouse, and who comes first wins" offers the old chicken. "Fine," replies the young arrogant. one of the chickens given the start signal and both roosters stood on the starting line. Than the old rooster turns to the young and said: "Listen, you're young and your feet are strong and you have no problem to beat me easily, maybe you would let me start some ten to fifteen feet foreword, so the competition will be a bit more sportive, I guess you will not have a big problem with it." "O.k, I agree, but let's start already" the young rooster answeres. At the given signal they began to run. And just at that moment in the morning the farmer decided to go hunting. When he turns to the henhouse what he sees? The old rooster ran like a madman, waving his wings and screamed in his throat, followed by a young cock trying and almost manages to achieve. The farmer raises his rifle and shoots the young rooster and killed it. "yoptvayomat" (he cursed in Russian) "It's the fifth chicken I buy and everyone was gay". 

The dog and the tiger

A rich man went on a safari in Africa with his dachshund dog. One day the dog was lost. Suddenly the dog saw a tiger going to devour him. the dog thinks quickly what to do. Than he saw two bones on the ground. He sat next to them with his back to the tiger and said: "It was really tasty tiger, I wonder if there's more delicious tigers around..." The tiger heard the dog, stopped at the last second with scare in his eyes. "Wow, it was really close ... that dog almost ate me...." the tiger said, turned and walked away crawling. In the tree above see this all the monkey. He decided it was a good opportunity for him to catch a good relationship with the tiger. He chased the tiger and told him how the dog made fun of him. Tiger got nervous and told the monkey to sit on his back, to come with him and see how he nakes the dog meat balls ... Dog, have not had time to relax, see the tiger suddenly repeats with the monkey on his back, sat with his back against his attackers, and a second before they reached him he said: "Where's that darn monkey? Half an hour ago I asked him to bring me another leopard" .. ..  

species disappearing 
Whale swims near his companion and says: "Dozens of ecological organizations, hundreds of activists, thousands of politicians and scientists, hundreds of thousands of people at demonstrations, Governments and parliaments around the world, all of them are doing everything they can to prevent our species extinction - And you come and tell me that you just have a headache?
Wanted: A PC technician
The lion's wedding 
Lion king celebrated his wedding with all the animals of the forest. Among the guests a mouse hang around shouting all the time and wished the lion: "Good luck bro! All the best!" When the lion heard the mouse he calls him "brother" He grabbed him and asked him angrily: "Who are you ... How could I, the lion king, be your brother? - you're just a mouse ..." The mouse replied: "Relax man, I was a lion too before I got married ..." 

A poisonous snake
One snake asks his friend the snake: "Say, r we poisonous?" His friend replies: "I don't know, why?"

Snake says: "For the moment I bit my tongue"

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