October 10, 2015

Life in black or white - Why we have to get rid of perfectionism?


I get to thinking quite a bit in recent days (I seem to have too much free time, but never mind now :-P). I thought a lot about my dichotomous view of life - everything is usually either black or white.

Known that it's a very common feature of many people addicted to eating. (Again, this will be a post for people with a real disorder and not on a diet of 5 kg, excuse me).

Dichotomous view is that of "all or nothing". Or black, or white. Night or day, high or low, beautiful or ugly. Cherry on top - perfect or a failure.
No middle, no medium.

This vision, I think, comes because of one feature and is perfectionism. From childhood we are taught to strive to be perfect. Who tends to be perfectionist, usually sees the world in black or white and that is reflected on every subject in the world - study, career, relationships etc. But what I probably want to talk about is the change in lifestyle.
Such dichotomous thinking problem of black or white, is that it causes us not to regard ourselves in perspective and put ourselves in the box of failure before we even got to her. 

For example - 

If I diet - I can, I'm getting closer to perfection. If I ate one snack place - I'm a failure. 
If I went down to weight / fat / scope well - I can, if not down (even if I had not) - I'm a failure.
I'm fat - or thin. 
I either fit or unfit. 



The problem is that this thinking leads us nowhere. Scientists have long thought can indeed create a reality at any level (and I recently read an article very fresh indeed that thoughts can alter physical functioning body!). These thoughts keep us focused on the negative, irrational thoughts. They are driven by fear to fail again, not being successful, and destructive. Very destructive.

After long thinking to myself I realized it wasn't giving me anything and I have to "let it go". To give myself a slap in the face and wake me. "Hey, you there! You're not a failure. You can change your life, and it's up to you!" 

In fact, experts say you really have to focus on positive thoughts and not negative. negative thoughts like "I'm on punishment" / "I'm a failure" / "Why are everyone thin and I'm not" / "I'll never make it" / "I can't help myself" defeating us really, because they cause us to eat emotionally. Soon after those thoughts, you find yourself in front of the refrigerator bite biscuit and forget the taste after 5 minutes. In contrast, positive thinking, or at least logical and rational thinking is leading us forward, a real difference. It says to start thinking "I can", and remind ourselves constantly why we do what we do . Take things in proportion. For example, if you lost "only" 1 pound - it's also an achievement, it's also something about the way to the goal.

The way to do this change is to first identify negative thoughts of course . You know them well - are those who sit there on the left shoulder (or right, this little imp what your prefer ..), and dig so brain failure, failure, fear. 

After you have identified the idea - this time to conduct a dialogue with yourself . Are these thoughts are justified? For example, if after I lost only 1 pound, I start to say to myself "Oh, I'll never make it, I had a bad week and I munched on too many occasions" - Is there any justification for what I say to myself? What evidence can I bring to myself to show me that I really not able to make it? What the statistics that the majority can not? This is not proof. Statistics in previous few times I've failed? So what. Just learn from your mistakes. Why would I believe that I can't? Only one - the fear to fail again, fail myself. Easier to give up now than later. So no, I'm not a failure. There's no reason not be able to persevere and change my life. I can and I want to!

In fact, during the debate with yourself, you choose to change your mind positive than a negative thought, and make this change. No more thoughts like: "Just one last time" / "I wish to throw this food" / "I'll never get" / "I'm out of control" / "they love me anyway" / "also That's how I fail at some point and go back to the present situation, it is best to do it without obesity rate. "
Instead - "I know the feeling, forget it quickly and it's not worth it" / "I have control over the food" / "I can" And my favorite sentence - " The food is not running away anywhere !!!!! even another month or two, I can treat myself with this food and enjoy it. the food first here to make me live in a healthy way to balance my body and provide his own basic needs. Only after that, it is a pleasure . " 

Of course, even if we reached a state of frenzy or eating too much - you have to remember you could get back to normal and nothing happened. to take everything in proportion. 

Finally, remember - the road to success is not a direct line up sharp. We got a crazy roller coaster road. Successful days, worse days. But as long as you choose the right way to begin with, there's no reason not to succeed. Everything depends on you and thinking positive. Thoughts create reality, if you choose positive thoughts, you will have it easier.

Even in difficult times - try to remain optimistic. And if you were wrong and had some bad days - then nothing happened! Weight didn't occur or gone in one day. Look at the long term rather than the range of today / tomorrow. It's really not what there is, after years of obesity. We're only human. We have feelings, have stressful days, there are days of stress. It's the most natural there!



So for today, have a positive weekend everyone!




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