October 6, 2015

10 things not to say on a first date

First date is the time that you meet a new guy, and you both checking each other with a magnifying glass. Everything you say in this date can be used against you in the trial- the trial where the decision is made- is it going to be a second date? is there a chance to this relationship?
Better be safe than sorry, here are some sentences you shouldn't say in the first date if you want another one:

1. "Sorry I'm late, I stopped to buy condoms" - this sentence is the height of audacity! It's like shitting near the neighbor's door and then screw it on the door and ask for toilet paper. 

2. "Just before we begin, you should know that I have a sensitive gut, so I'll have to go sometimes to the wc and if you smell something you know that's me" - after such a sentence you won't be able to order or eat something at the the cafe, I think you'll go to the bathroom to vomit. 

3. "Are you really going to eat all that?" - What are you implying? I'm fat? Next! 

4. "Wow, you remind me of my mother" - so why did you come? go to your mother! 

5. "I have to finish early, I still have a date after you" - OK, so let's go right now, don't waste me two hours of my life!

6. "Have you brought your purse?" - Yes, of course I brought it. Oh you dropped a coin when we crossed the highway, you probably really want to go look for it.

7. "You remind me of my ex-girlfriend" - and you remind me Osama bin Laden! 

8. "You're more fat in reality" - So let's leave our relationship virtual.

9. "Wow, this is the first time that someone agrees to go out with me, I'm so excited" - really? I feel so special and unique, actually I feel like sucker!

10. "I'm going to do a Penis Enlargement soon" - OMG, pervert! Escape!

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