September 30, 2015

Learn to say "No"

 Unless you live in a far hut on a mountain in Lapland, probably you have to deal every day with constant temptations surrounding us everywhere.

In the morning you go to work, and Sturbucks coffee calls you in every corner at the street. Won't you drink drink a cup? and now what? you will give up the croissant or muffin?

Arrival to work, and the guys begin to take a break at every 5 min and jump from room to room with a variety of delicious snacks. Secretary desk also have cookies or candies. And of course today, in particular (and somehow each day is a special day like that) is Julie's / Michael's / Dana's / Adam's birthday. So you celebrate with them and eat a piece of cake. 

At noon you have a break. There are variety of restaurants around and they offer delicious hot meal. You are hungry and all the guys in the office order themselves food. What, you're not going to order?

On the way back, again all kinds of fast food are all around. A quick calculation - it's cheap and I have no power to make a dinner. 5$ and a full meal in hand. It's less money than the dish I'm going to make at home is going to cost. And I'll also have time to spend with my spouse or children, rather than prepare food. Who has power at all to make dinner after work ... So didn't you stop and buy some fast food?

There's always the evening events, holidays, family visits and so on... 

Temptations are everywhere. Just take, just taste. Among those who have children, temptations are maybe even bigger - it's much easier to take them to a fast food restaurant. They enjoy, they are quiet, you can rest.
Or when you make them a dinner. They don't eat all the food you served them and you eat it yourself. 

In Healthy Lifestyle, We Must Learn To Say "No!". Yes, there will always be the thin people (annoying, admit it) those who can eat all those temptations and stay somehow thin. But folks, it's rare. Perhaps they even eat only the temptations and no other food. What does it matter how they do it, it's not normal and you can not do it without becoming a huge coach potato. 

How To Say "No"? 
No doubt it's really, really hard. Perhaps one of the most difficult things in diet and healthy lifestyle. There's always be the one who tells you: "just taste. please, I made it myself ..... you won't get fat if you only will taste a bit." So you taste and open the Pandora's box. From there, you start to "taste" more and more and also "taste" something else. And before you notice - you destroyed the diet.

No doubt, some of you are able to cope well and have an amazing self control. Some of you can really taste and then stop. Way to go! but this post is not intended for you. You can keep reading or leave. Feel free. 

I think the first thing to understand is - self-control and / or will power are a matter of character. Most fat people's  self-control is not permanent. They have a strong desire at the beginning and it tends to expire later. If there was self-control and power they desire, they were not where they are today, probably. There are many experts who believe that this is one of the first reasons why people fail to maintain a healthy weight over time, or don't success at all in the weight-loss process. 
For example, Dr. Phil wrote that in one of his books, and Gillian Michaels, the personal trainer from Bigest Loser, she has a website in which she explains by way of reduction, how to deal with difficulties and so on. O.A also say the same thing - Let go of will power.

So wait, how can you succeed without self-control and / or willpower? It sounds like a paradox. 
Experts say that it's not a matter of willpower, it is a decision. As soon as you took a decision to change your life, that's all you need. On O.A they say you have to believe in force majeure and let it control you.

I think it's a bit more complex than that, though there must be some self control and when you take a decision you still need some self-control and power will. 
Other things you need, is support. I have no words how much support can help when needed, when it seems to you that you have no control over the little demon that sits on your shoulder and preaches you to eat more and more. Knowing that you have someone to call and consult with, someone who can say a good word when you tell him you've been successful to say "No", is immense importance.

I will give you a personal example - last week I went shopping at the supermarket, especially bought vegetables. I was very thirsty and when I passed one of the refrigerators with bottles filled with chocolate milk all types and species. I felt I can not stand it and took a bottle of chocolate milk in hand. I decided I did not open it until I get to the cashier, because inside I knew it was wrong. 500 calories of nothing. I started thinking about my husband that if I am ruining my diet I'm also destroy his (if he knew it, he'll have the legitimacy to take a snack here and there). On the other hand, I knew that if I tell him that I got over - it will strengthen it and also he'll be proud of me. I also realized that I can drink water and it will satisfy my thirst. I returned the bottle, took in place a bottle of water and drank deeply. 0 calories, 0 sugar. Health. 

It is also important that the environment will be aware of the process you go through. It is important to tell them to help you with saying "no". When you're at the office, choose at least one person you trust that can help you to be strong and say no. It helps, a lot. When you're alone you tell yourself: "Well what, everyone will eat and I won't? What's the difference already, it's just my interest." But when someone with you it returns you back on track. If your office co-workers will know about your process, they will also know to keep the snacks from you and not offer you, not even a taste. This is true also for your family. 

It was very hard for me to say "no" to my mother. I have no doubt that one of her main ways to show love was to feed the family and people she loves. I told her w month ago -" Mom, I'm sorry. We do not come to family dinner. We will come after dinner, when you're done, to be with everyone". It was hard for me. I love the meals, but to sit at dinner with all the temptations andheady smells around- it's still hard for me and my husband. Unexpectedly, by the way, my mother at that moment realised that this diet is serious this time. It's not even something temporary, but it's really a change in lifestyle. In response, she supported us and continues to support us at any given moment. I hear only good words and she tries not to talk to me about the food she prepares. I have no words how much it helps.

In order to say the "no", it's also important to understand with yourself why you want to eat at that moment. Ask yourself leading questions - Am I really hungry? / Did I eat at the last two-three hours?  / Am I ever thirsty? (Drink in place) / Am I bored? (Go do something useful and fun) and so on. 

Find a way to remember how you were before. You can also hang pictures of yourself before on the fridge or picture of models. 
Finally - to say "no" also requires a decision, and a lot of work on yourself. As soon as you look ahead and know where you're going and what it requires of you (among other things, to say "no"), would have been way easier.
 
Another thing I must emphasize-  it's important for us to pamper ourselves, but it is important that this be done in a planned menu and in our way, not as a temptation that wasn't in the plan. When we don't plan it means that the snowball is going to become bigger and bigger, and you have to watch it. 

Wish success to everyone!





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