January 1, 2015

My daughter stole something

My dear daughter confided yesterday that a week ago she entered the Webkinz account of her cousin (that voluntarily gave her the password), sold items (for virtual money= Kinzcash), sent special furniture and things to her own account and then changed her password so that she wouldn't find our.

The cousin cried for a week that she couldn't enter her Webkinz account.
When her mother discovered that the account has been  broken into, she called us to ask if we know something about it. We asked our daughter and she denied any connection. But I guess it was sitting on her heart and yesterday she finally confessed.


We were very angry at her. You could say we were reacting badly and deteriorating. My daughter is 9 and a half years old and should know not to steal.

Her father was also very angry. He used phrases like "you are a thief" and "I don't believe you anymore" which I think are not doing well.

After the speech we gave and a punishment not to play Webkinz anymore and give back her cousin whatever she stole, I suddenly remembered my childhood.

When I was a child, about her age, I was stealing from shops. It wasn't a one-time theft or once in a while. I was stealing every day. I'd go with a friend to a candies or toys store and put a chocolate bar under my shirt or a toy ring in my pocket. My friends and I caught several times by the shopkeepers. They didn't involve our parents and released us after a reprimand maybe because we looked like innocent and good girls.
  
The most bitter memory I have is a toy store I got caught in it, specifically on my mother's birthday. I remember the salesman grabbed me and wanted to call my mother and I started to cry because it was her birthday. Thankfully he gave up late but I went home with a terrible feeling.
After I remembered it, I went to talk with my daughter that was crying in the room. I felt I was talking to my daughter and to the little girl I was.

I asked her why she did it and why she could not help not to take what is not her. I saw that she felt the worst possible feeling. She was willing to compensate her cousin in any way and expressed a lot of regret. I told her that it's good that she confessed because it's better  for her to carry the punishment and clean herself than to keep it in her heart. I suggested she write a letter to herself. I offered her compassion. I do not want her to hate herself like I did.

Her punishment was corrected to not play Webkinz for only a month. She also sent her cousin a lot of rare and precious things from her account to make up for it.

I checked this morning on the Internet to look for material on theft in children. I found that children aged 9 should already be respect for foreign assets and understand they must not steal. Children this age continue to sometimes steal for different reasons, including:

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